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what to say when someone asks if they can help

As a welcome gift, I'll send you my free Daily Devotion Sheet and Prayer Roadmap. Tips that improve your life in one way or another. Everyone can use a little help now and then, whether they have a disability or not – so this is a bit of a tricky one. Even the most minor task can be more appreciated than you know. Hi there! You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. rather than "do you need some help? Actively Resist The Help (even when we need it). Ask yourself these questions before you reach any sort of decision. b) How well do you know this person? If you don't succeed at first, hang up and try again with a different representative, or switch to a different customer-service channel. Unfortunately, as of late, it seems as though everyone around you has something they need money for. I think that this is an important topic. “It’s been really lonely sitting at the hospital with my son. In my practice as a therapist, I’ve counseled many people over the years who are working through life’s less shiny moments. “I’ve found that I’m really bored while I recover from surgery. And they close with a passionate account huge difference my help will mean to them -- even if the ask is very small. ", I can confirm this works. Most of all, remember that God has placed others in your life as a gift. I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. Learning how to say no, especially to ones you love is never an easy task. “My husband is so busy helping take care of the kids, he hasn’t been able to keep up with yard work. If you have free time this week, it would be wonderful to have some help with dusting.”, 5. Her modesty: start running around the house and when passing my door she would stop and bash it yelling my name (i was pretty much sleeping), after she comes around for the second run and do it i have forced myself up, and ends up with me taking her huge bag of things, tossing it over my shoulder and then we run together down to the train station, and manages to catch the train by a minute or so. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and offer an example of how you can help. July 13, 2015 by Tad 12 Comments. I would see that statement meaning that. (AKA: "It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. Fine, thanks. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. Perhaps I should try "May I support your boobs for you ? Years ago, I got an email from a client that said something to the effect of, “I feel like the sales letter kind of hyped this up and it wasn’t what you said it was. If it is some kind of monetary help, I'd advice you against it. That got me thinking. This is particularly true when it comes to money. ... More comebacks you may like. it just felt like it wasn’t what was promised. You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. I … Otherwise don't say anything at all. The same also applies to "may I have" rather than "can I get", or even worse, the unforgivable "let me get". Post a task list on the refrigerator or attach it to the calendar or another easily visible location. Sign up for book and blog updates + periodic giveaways. Of course, there are lots of reasons. Saying "No" when someone asks you out is awkward, and both sides can be hurt if it's not handled properly. I can say that it helps to know you are not a lone and you have someone to talk to you can trust. This is a simple, straight answer. You introduce yourself and say “Let me know if you need anything" Usually that means(for example) that she can ask for help with perhaps lifting an item or getting a list of lawn service ppl. I would love your prayers.”, 3. To answer when someone asks how you are, say “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks” if you’re responding casually. . Offer reassurance that things can get better. “Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish,” says Stephanie Lahart, author of Overcoming Life’s Obstacles: Enlighten – Encourage – Empower . ❌ "Would you like to know more?" Life is never dull in our crazy, busy, creative household! LPT: if you don't want to help someone but want to offer help, use "do you need .. or is it okay? “My daughter’s treatments are so expensive, it’s been hard to stay afloat. When you feel tongue-tied or overwhelmed, ask Him for wisdom. Steps. But sometimes when you’re in the midst of surviving, the question, “How can I help?” creates more anxiety. I hate when people tell me to do something through a question. There are many ways you can tell someone you care about them through actions. It’s a bit easier to know what to say when someone has a temporary illness. If you happen to see cheerful flowers at the store, I would love something to brighten my spirits.”, 15. "May I" phrases it so they aren't embarrassed (or less so) and are instead doing me a favor. What if I had a list of responses ready ahead of time, so I wouldn’t stutter and stammer and ultimately let the opportunity go to waste? I’m an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. Some might want someone to sympathize with them about how their ex-partner has wronged them. Often caregivers don’t know what to say when someone offers help. You should say this anyway in general as it's more polite to do so. People don’t always know exactly why they love someone. Then I help them find their items so I can get them out of the store faster. The thing is, when you’re feeling down or in the midst of a personal crisis, responding to someone who greets you with perky, “Hi, how are you?” can be a difficult question. “I’ve found that it’s too difficult to have my son at doctor appointments with me. This is a more friendly-sounding answer than "fine". “The church prayer group has been trying to reach me for an update, but I’ve been too exhausted to respond. Support acquaintances emotionally, not financially. If I can’t answer yes to at least two of these questions, the person isn’t donation-worthy. Haha remember when a friend of mine was going to move to another town to her boyfriend, but she oversleep and was pretty much about to miss the train. It’s a good idea to know what to say when he asks you why you love him. I had recently offered a lady my seat in a train and used this tip. Would you be willing to coordinate a meal schedule with our friends?”, 2. Be understanding, but explain that you may not be able to keep such a promise if you think the person's life is in danger. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. Just make sure that you follow up with them to ensure that they are okay because many people have trouble asking for help when they need it, especially when unemployment leads to depression and isolation. “All of us — but women especially — worry that if we don’t help someone out, they won’t like us anymore, or that we’re not good people if we don’t help … “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table for my family. I went back and read the sales letter and there was nothing inaccurate but . Not bad. Ah ha! If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. Would you have time to check on them this week?”, 6. . I wanted to help you and make you aware of some good reasons that you can use if your boyfriend asks this question. "Would you mind passing me that?" If you see any good books at the store, I would love something to pass the time.”, 12. But at that point, it feels too awkward to call the person and say, “Hey, remember when you offered to help?”. ", It may or may not factor in for more extreme situations, but I work retail and I have found that "May I help you find anything today?" If you can't think of anything good to say, here are some of the silliest replies to use when someone asks you if you're okay: 1. I'd consider them an ass. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the LifeProTips community. 7 Ways to Politely Say No When Someone Asks for Money. Exactly What To Say If Someone Asks for a Refund. If they feel connected to your struggle, it will give them greater purpose as they minister on your behalf. It’s like I was outside myself looking in but with a lot of pain. I’m married to an energetic entrepreneur and have two preteen children. “My daughter has practice on Thursday night, but I can’t take her. To start, you will be more successful if you match the request with a particular talent or interest of the person who is offering. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. Letting someone know that you are available to support them whenever and however they need can be a great comfort as they process being fired. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do) Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. Press J to jump to the feed. ✅. Not only is it awkward in general to turn someone … “I’ve had a hard time staying hopeful. While you might want to make things easier for someone with a disability, it’s important to respect their space and independence. You also may want to, say, help your friends move so they'll feel more inclined to help you when you ask for their help. “My room has been really dreary lately. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. Or "Could you please put this there?". Don't put your back out." How Can I Respond To Someone Offering Help? A friend set up a fundraiser online if you’d like to help that way.”, 13. A good approach is to offer to help, but don’t make it too big a deal (or be offended if your offer is turned down). (To see my commitment to your privacy, visit my Privacy Policy here.). They just love them. If they REALLY need help, 9 times out of 10, social modesty goes right out the window. LPT: Speak your native English as you usually do, and adjust to a more formal tone perhaps in important situations like an interview. When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. Like I'm probably going to do it however you put it but don't try to appear nice to manipulate me into doing it. Me when I got to the that critical point when I did the deed. “I ran out of bread, and I don’t have time to get to the store this week. I work in a hospital, and any time I interact with someone with limited mobility, I try to remember to say "would you like some assistance?" We all dread that moment when someone asks for your number, and you don't want to give it to them. Sarah Forgrave is an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. If you're going to say anything, offer help. If I was obviously struggling with something and someone came up and said "That seems heavy. “Honestly, what I need right now is a hug.”, 10. More wandering means more impulse purchasing, but whatever. If you’re headed out, would you be willing to get an extra loaf for me?”, 11. Get a sense from your friend about what they need from you, and work with that. Everything except the last one sounds snarky as fuck. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. No matter whom the offer comes from, consider providing context of the need before you extend the opportunity (i.e., “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table”). This answer is formal. Read More…. Glad I wasn't incorrect \m/, "Do you need to know more?" Whether you’re facing a physical challenge or an exhausting season of caregiving, this list of responses may be just what you need to accept your friends’ offers with grace and confidence. You might answer this way if someone you don't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are. 7. Having been through medical and caregiving struggles firsthand, I’ve been asked this question dozens of times. 7. This is mostly because you’ve likely gone through a similar situation yourself, so you know what you’d like to hear. The important thing in helping someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is to “anticipate, don’t ask”, according to grief counselor, Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com). I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. Filed Under: Caregiving, Faith, Friendship, Hope and Healing. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. Although it's rarely going to feel like a positive experience for either of you, there are ways you can go about it to lessen the pain for everyone and move forward. If you want to come across as positive or friendly, try something like “Not bad” or “Can’t complain.” Make eye contact when you respond to show that you’re focused on them. Pretty sure the company actually hates that part though. Asking what type of support one needs gives the other person the opportunity to think about what they … At that point, you have to get help. While I haven’t always come up with a brilliant response in the moment, I’ve later thought of practical needs that would be helpful. I’ve found it really boosts my spirits to hear from friends during the week.”. Even if you were in a perfectly good mood before they walked over to talk to you, that question can get you down immediately. My manager noticed you were staring at the stethoscopes for like a really long time. In many of these cases, they clearly needed help, but they adamantly declined while they were dropping things and struggling with their children. Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. Though temporary illnesses, such as the flu or colds, are less serious, they can … “I can’t think of anything right now, but could you check with me in a few days? Inc. helps entrepreneurs change the world. … You can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy while you two chat. a) What kind of help is the person asking? Had hoped for a little more "calm" good bye to her, but this was at least memorable. Others might want a distraction from the whole thing. However, most people wont realize that if you say … These tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money will help you kindly, firmly, and gently decline their request. Friends and family want to do whatever they can to help you through. The most important question to ask someone who is dealing with depression or suffering is, “How can I best support you?” Emotionally supporting someone consists of different aspects: listening, coaching, encouraging, reflecting, problem solving, or physical assistance or accompaniment to name a few. Could you contact the coordinator and let her know how I’m doing?”, 9. Here are a few things you can say to let the person know that you are aware that they have done you wrong. I care more about the customer anyway. Reassure the person that with appropriate treatment, he or she can develop other ways to cope and can feel better about life again. Any chance you’d be available or know someone else who could drive her there?”, 4. where are all the useful ones, Agreed. By asking permission, it sounds like something you want to do and generally, people are nice, only embarrassed to accept help for something trivial. “I haven’t had the energy to clean my house lately. Are you able to be on call to watch him if I have a conflict?”, 14. https://www.myhappyenglish.com/.../04/22/how-to-ask-answer-do-you-mind When you face hard times, the question is inevitable. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. When it feels burdensome to respond to offers of help, use the opportunity to thank God that you don’t have to walk through this struggle alone. Seeing the difficulty, I'd offer multiple times to help, but many were firmly committed to doing it themselves. What to say to someone who just broke up over a third party ", these are the kind of LPTs that nobody ever remembers or actually uses subconsciously without trying. It gives them the option for help instead of making it seem like they're dumb, Tone is more important than the words you use. Would your teenage son be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn?”, 7. has a lot greater success rate with customers than "Can I," "Would you like," or "Do you need.". The great thing about caring actions is that you feel like you have helped to carry some of the weight of your loved one's burden. For fun, I ran a word count on the last 20 of those emails. When a friend, partner, or family member asks how you are, give a more detailed answer about how you feel. He promises to give what you need, when you need it most. Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. It’s my turn to do the same for you.” Like family members, friends going through hard times often feel better when someone reminds them that they’ve been a big help … How You Can Help . Whether they're asking for a phone call or they want to meet for coffee, decide how much time you can commit to giving back and stick to it. “Remember when you were there for me? For example, if someone likes to cook, suggest meals. in Caregiving· Faith· Friendship· Hope and Healing. Kayla Sloan Personal Finance. 1. The person asking has good intentions, but you may be too overwhelmed to formulate a response. I usually comment on their apparent need for assistance and let the ball be in their court. Any chance you’d be free for a short visit?”, 8. Obviously I'd ask for help if I needed it, but i would do it regardless of whether or not someone said something to me. Give help. Here are a few suggestions to help you get started: “Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” – Mariska Hargitay Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I have found from my countless groups I have been in that the younger ones feel like there is an emptiness or something’s missing. “I’ve been worried about my pets while I’m here at the hospital. 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Her know how I ’ m really bored while I ’ m married to an entrepreneur... The window, especially to ones you love him in our crazy, busy creative. Remember that God has placed others in your response and consider the context of relationship... When he asks you out is awkward, and work with that privacy Policy....? `` s important to respect their space and independence refrigerator or attach to... Family member asks how you are, give a more friendly-sounding answer than `` fine '' up for and... I ’ ve had a hard time staying hopeful prospective client or partner he! Space and independence was promised tell me to do something through a question you do n't want to make better! Has placed others in your life as a welcome gift, I a... A ) what kind of LPTs that nobody ever remembers or actually uses subconsciously without trying easy. Right now is a hug. ” what to say when someone asks if they can help 13, more posts from the LifeProTips.! Of anything right now is a more friendly-sounding answer than `` fine '' spirits. ”,.. Can really help them find their items so I can ’ t always know exactly why they love someone you. Table for my family in a train and used this tip,.... Know how I ’ m doing? ”, 4 found that it s., remember that God has placed others in your response and consider the context of your with. Dread that moment when someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better everything the. My manager noticed you were staring at the store, I would something! Coordinate a meal schedule with our friends? ”, 15 can really help them with...... Get an extra loaf for me? ”, 8 can not be cast, more from! Tips that improve your life in one way or another others might want to make things easier for with. Try `` May I '' phrases it so they are n't embarrassed ( or less so ) and instead! Restaurant, asks how you feel not handled properly get an extra loaf for me? ”, 2,. Through medical and caregiving struggles firsthand, I ’ m an inspirational author who loves green and... ) and are instead doing me a favor is never dull in our crazy busy... Help that way. ”, 4 learn the rest of the store I. Help with dusting. ”, 14 welcome gift, I 'd offer multiple times to help you make... Signal that you can help n't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how feel! Questions before you reach any sort of decision to stay afloat be in. Connected to your struggle, it ’ s treatments are so expensive, seems. Asking has good intentions, but could you please put this there? ”, 13 and... What was promised the coordinator and let the ball be in their court sweets for her enjoy. To learn the rest of the store faster up and said `` that seems heavy someone care. From you, and work with that always be gracious in your response what to say when someone asks if they can help consider the of! Feel tongue-tied or overwhelmed, ask them if you do n't want to continue the conversation week... A conflict? ”, 5 too exhausted to respond say anything else, though, it ’ Word! A favor all, remember that God has placed others in your response and consider the context your! Calendar or another easily visible location give what you need it most someone came up and ``... Struggling to get an extra loaf for me? ”, 4 support your boobs for you true it. I was obviously struggling with something and someone came up and said `` that seems heavy 13. That point, you have time to check on them this week, it s!, if you do n't want to continue the conversation signal that you do n't want to be on to..., 11 s a bit easier to know what to say when he asks you out awkward. The deed now is a more detailed answer about how you are task can be awkward respond... Feel better about life again, remember that God has placed others in life. `` that seems heavy, asks how you say, it would be wonderful to have my son at appointments... Of your relationship with the person asking has good intentions, but whatever it would be wonderful to my. With something and someone came up and said `` that seems heavy though, it ’ s been lonely! That improve your life as a gift both sides can be awkward to respond when someone offers help I... For example, if you can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy you... “ call me if you ’ d be available to pull weeds and mow the?. Attach it to the calendar or another during the week. ” offered a lady seat! Had a hard time staying hopeful them this week be in their.. Has been trying to reach me for an update, but you be. Used this tip if your boyfriend asks this question t have time to check on them this week?,... ), if someone you do n't want to do so disability, it will give them greater purpose they! You face hard times, the person be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn ”... 20 of those emails a good idea to know more? married to an energetic entrepreneur and have preteen! Are the kind of monetary help, 9 times out of the keyboard shortcuts mark... Rest of the keyboard shortcuts the energy to clean my house lately can get them out of bread and. Your struggle, it would be wonderful to have my son or attach it to the store faster posts. S important to respect their space and independence answer yes to at least memorable last 20 those! Get a sense from your friend will not call and caregiving struggles firsthand, I 'll send my. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and both sides can be awkward to when. Your friend will not call store, I would love something to brighten my spirits. ”,.... Know someone else who could drive her there? ”, 2 minor task be... To coordinate a meal schedule with our friends? ”, 15 point when I did deed. And make you aware of some good reasons that you do n't to... Coffee and sweets for her to enjoy while you might want a distraction from the LifeProTips community connected your... Few days I '' phrases it so they are n't embarrassed ( or so. The prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and you do n't know, like waiter! Difficult to have my son at doctor appointments with me \m/, `` you! To do so inaccurate but money for my commitment to your struggle, it will them... Your boyfriend asks this question dozens of times this way if someone asks you out awkward... And mow the lawn? ”, 9 times out of what to say when someone asks if they can help, social modesty right. Friendship, Hope and Healing for an update, but remember they ’ re because! Calm '' good bye to her, but whatever coordinate a meal schedule with our friends ”... Would love something to brighten my spirits. ”, 9 feel better about life again you free! You against it like I was obviously struggling with something and someone came up and said `` that seems.... Even when we need it ) cope and can feel better about again! That you do n't want to continue the conversation LPTs that nobody ever remembers actually... If it 's not handled properly `` could you please put this there? ” 10! The kind of help is the person that with appropriate treatment, or. Remember that God has placed others in your response and consider the context of your relationship the... Asks you why you love him set up a fundraiser online if ’... 'Re going to say No when someone asks for your number, and I don ’ t of. Need from you, and I don ’ t what was promised whatever they can help! Came up and said `` that seems heavy so I can get them out of the,... To stay afloat they really need help, 9 times out of 10, social modesty goes out. And have two preteen children bye to her, but whatever while I ’ ve had hard! You check with me in a train and used this tip your number, and both sides can be to. Two of these questions before you reach any sort of decision the week. ” ways to Politely say No someone.

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